Few things for sale

Well it's me again, your freind Randall.

It has come to my attention that I have to sell a few things that have been building up inside my house. It's funny how fast people collect things you know? Been here only a few months now and the amount of things I have collected has made it impossible for me or my kitties to move around in. Last week, I knew I had a problem when I accidentally sat on the toilet that wasnt hooked up. Not a problem though, Just put some newspaper over it can called it done. It's not to say that I havent tried to clean it before. I called merry maids and the lady who came over introduced herself as Dios Mio. Very lovely traditional mexican name. She was a very nice lady, but she had a horrible work ethic and kept trying to go for the door. I said to her, "Hold up Dios Mio, you havent even touched the potty yet". I think her friend Ayuda showed up cause she hit me with in the head with a plunger and kept scraming for Ayuda (must be deaf) before she hopped out the bathroom window. Well, it's a good thing I didnt pay her cause she only contributed to the mess by leaving all of her cleaning stuff and purse here. So, if you are reading his Dios Mio, please come get your cleaning stuff. Also, dont bother getting your tampons cause i was testing to see how much fruit punch they would absorb out of my juice box. Please by another brand as these things clearly dont hold much ecto-cooler.

Oh yeah AOL, almost forgot. here is a list of things for sale.

One Stove(slightly used). It currently has a spatula melted to the burner, but the spatula does tranfsfer heat quite nicely. Put burger on it and the fat naturally drains off the sloped surface onto the floor.

One bicycle, if I can get around to finding it. Has new wheels, currently missing in house.

One cat, name is radish. Nice cat, does not like to be looked at. Perfect for toddlers or other people with little hands.

Every New York times newspaper from 1955 to present.

cheeseburger

1 high powered vaccume. Currently does not work due to dust buster crammed in hose.

Salad bar from wendys. Took it when they were remodeling, will throw in sterno for extra charge. You haul, will not send through mail, man in kenya. STOP EMAILIN ME YOU FU**ING IDIOT. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH POSTAGE IS?

1 toaster. only works if you place bread in it, and place toaster in 350 degree oven.

4 left shoes. Buy for your one legged friends.

plus a whole lot more, most of which is infested with something called termites(sp?).

That is all for now. email me if you are interested in any of the listed.

"thank you for getting to know me over this media" -randall tuhchie