Wayne Garcia anagrams, I luv U

WAYNE GARCIA ANAGRAM LIST

ANAGRAMS FOR "WAYNE GARCIA"

1. ARCANA YE WIG
2. RACEWAY GAIN
3. RACEWAY GINA
4. GARCIA WAYNE
5. GARCIA AWN YE
6. GARCIA WAN YE
7. GARCIA NAY WE
8. GARCIA ANY WE
9. CRANIA WAG YE
10. CRANIA GAY WE
11. CRANIA AGY WE
12. NCAA AGE WIRY
13. NCAA YEAR WIG
14. NCAA GRAY WEI
15. NCAA GARY WEI
16. NCAA GAY WIRE
17. NCAA GAY WEIR
18. NCAA GAY WIER
19. NCAA AGY WIRE
20. NCAA AGY WEIR
21. NCAA AGY WIER
22. EAGAN CIA WRY
23. EAGAN WAR ICY
24. EAGAN RAW ICY
25. ARENA WAG ICY
26. AREA CIA GWYN
27. AREA YWCA GIN
28. AREA GNAW ICY
29. AREA WANG ICY
30. AWARE NAG ICY
31. AGAIN ACE WRY
32. AGAIN CRAW YE
33. AGAIN RACY WE
34. AGAIN CAW RYE
35. AGAIN WAC RYE
36. AGAIN AWE CRY
37. AGWAY CARE IN
38. AGWAY ACRE IN
39. AGWAY RACE IN
40. AGWAY CAN IRE
41. AGWAY AN RICE
42. AGWAY AN ERIC
43. AGWAY RAN ICE
44. ANA CAGE WIRY
45. ANA CAREY WIG
46. ANA ARC YE WIG
47. ANA CAR YE WIG
48. ANA RCA YE WIG
49. ANA CAW YE RIG
50. ANA WAC YE RIG
51. ANA RAG ICY WE
52. AWAY ACE RING
53. AWAY ACE GRIN
54. AWAY GRECIAN
55. AWAY GRACE IN
56. AWAY CANE RIG
57. AWAY CARE GIN
58. AWAY ACRE GIN
59. AWAY RACE GIN
60. AWAY INCA ERG
61. AWAY CAIN ERG
62. AWAY RICA ENG
63. AWAY NAG RICE
64. AWAY NAG ERIC
65. AWAY RANG ICE
66. AWAY RAG NICE
67. ACE GAIN WARY
68. ACE GAIN AWRY
69. ACE GINA WARY
70. ACE GINA AWRY
71. ACE GRAIN YAW
72. ACE GRAIN WAY
73. ACE RIGA YAWN
74. ACE GNAW AIRY
75. ACE WANG AIRY
76. ACE RAG YAW IN
77. ACE RAG WAY IN
78. ACE WAG RAINY
79. ACE WAG RAY IN
80. ACE GAY WAR IN
81. ACE GAY RAW IN
82. ACE AGY WAR IN
83. ACE AGY RAW IN
84. ACE AN RAY WIG
85. ACE AN YAW RIG
86. ACE AN WAY RIG
87. CAGE NAIR YAW
88. CAGE NAIR WAY
89. CAGE IRAN YAW
90. CAGE IRAN WAY
91. CAGE RAIN YAW
92. CAGE RAIN WAY
93. CAGE IRA YAWN
94. CAGE AIR YAWN
95. CAGE AIRY AWN
96. CAGE AIRY WAN
97. CAGEY IRA AWN
98. CAGEY IRA WAN
99. CAGEY AIR AWN
100. CAGEY AIR WAN
101. CAINE RAG YAW
102. CAINE RAG WAY
103. CAINE WAG RAY
104. CAINE GAY WAR
105. CAINE GAY RAW
106. CAINE AGY WAR
107. CAINE AGY RAW
108. CANE RIGA YAW
109. CANE RIGA WAY
110. CANE WAG AIRY
111. CARE GAIN YAW
112. CARE GAIN WAY
113. CARE GINA YAW
114. CARE GINA WAY
115. ACRE GAIN YAW
116. ACRE GAIN WAY
117. ACRE GINA YAW
118. ACRE GINA WAY
119. RACE GAIN YAW
120. RACE GAIN WAY
121. RACE GINA YAW
122. RACE GINA WAY
123. CIGAR AWE NAY
124. CIGAR AWE ANY
125. CIGAR AYE AWN
126. CIGAR AYE WAN
127. CIGAR YEA AWN
128. CIGAR YEA WAN
129. CRAIG AWE NAY
130. CRAIG AWE ANY
131. CRAIG AYE AWN
132. CRAIG AYE WAN
133. CRAIG YEA AWN
134. CRAIG YEA WAN
135. CIA AGE AN WRY
136. CIA EGAN WARY
137. CIA EGAN AWRY
138. CIA RANGE YAW
139. CIA RANGE WAY
140. CIA ANGER YAW
141. CIA ANGER WAY
142. CIA AGNEW RAY
143. CIA RAGE YAWN
144. CIA GEAR YAWN
145. CIA WAGE NARY
146. CIA WAGE RYAN
147. CIA WAGE YARN
148. CIA YEARN WAG
149. CIA ANEW GRAY
150. CIA ANEW GARY
151. CIA WANE GRAY
152. CIA WANE GARY
153. CIA WEAN GRAY
154. CIA WEAN GARY
155. CIA WAYNE RAG
156. CIA WEAR NAGY
157. CIA WEAR YANG
158. CIA WARE NAGY
159. CIA WARE YANG
160. CIA WEARY NAG
161. CIA YEAR GNAW
162. CIA YEAR WANG
163. CIA AWE RANGY
164. CIA AWE ANGRY
165. CIA NAG WAR YE
166. CIA NAG RAW YE
167. CIA NAG RAY WE
168. CIA RAG AWN YE
169. CIA RAG WAN YE
170. CIA RAG NAY WE
171. CIA RAG ANY WE
172. CIA GRAY AN WE
173. CIA GARY AN WE
174. CIA WAG AN RYE
175. CIA WAG RAN YE
176. CIA GAY RAN WE
177. CIA AGY RAN WE
178. CIA AN YAW ERG
179. CIA AN WAY ERG
180. INCA AGE WARY
181. INCA AGE AWRY
182. INCA RAGE YAW
183. INCA RAGE WAY
184. INCA GEAR YAW
185. INCA GEAR WAY
186. INCA WAGE RAY
187. INCA WEAR GAY
188. INCA WEAR AGY
189. INCA WARE GAY
190. INCA WARE AGY
191. INCA YEAR WAG
192. INCA AWE GRAY
193. INCA AWE GARY
194. CAIN AGE WARY
195. CAIN AGE AWRY
196. CAIN RAGE YAW
197. CAIN RAGE WAY
198. CAIN GEAR YAW
199. CAIN GEAR WAY
200. CAIN WAGE RAY
201. CAIN WEAR GAY
202. CAIN WEAR AGY
203. CAIN WARE GAY
204. CAIN WARE AGY
205. CAIN YEAR WAG
206. CAIN AWE GRAY
207. CAIN AWE GARY
208. CAIRN AGE YAW
209. CAIRN AGE WAY
210. CAIRN AWE GAY
211. CAIRN AWE AGY
212. CAIRN AYE WAG
213. CAIRN YEA WAG
214. RICA AGE YAWN
215. RICA EGAN YAW
216. RICA EGAN WAY
217. RICA WAGE NAY
218. RICA WAGE ANY
219. RICA ANEW GAY
220. RICA ANEW AGY
221. RICA WANE GAY
222. RICA WANE AGY
223. RICA WEAN GAY
224. RICA WEAN AGY
225. RICA AWE NAGY
226. RICA AWE YANG
227. RICA AYE GNAW
228. RICA AYE WANG
229. RICA YEA GNAW
230. RICA YEA WANG
231. RICA WAG AN YE
232. RICA GAY AN WE
233. RICA AGY AN WE
234. CAN WAGE AIRY
235. CAN WAG IRA YE
236. CAN WAG AIR YE
237. CAN GAY IRA WE
238. CAN GAY AIR WE
239. CAN AGY IRA WE
240. CAN AGY AIR WE
241. ARC AGE YAW IN
242. ARC AGE WAY IN
243. ARC ANGIE YAW
244. ARC ANGIE WAY
245. ARC AWE GAY IN
246. ARC AWE AGY IN
247. ARC AYE WAG IN
248. ARC AYE AN WIG
249. ARC YEA WAG IN
250. ARC YEA AN WIG
251. ARC GAY AN WEI
252. ARC AGY AN WEI
253. CAR AGE YAW IN
254. CAR AGE WAY IN
255. CAR ANGIE YAW
256. CAR ANGIE WAY
257. CAR AWE GAY IN
258. CAR AWE AGY IN
259. CAR AYE WAG IN
260. CAR AYE AN WIG
261. CAR YEA WAG IN
262. CAR YEA AN WIG
263. CAR GAY AN WEI
264. CAR AGY AN WEI
265. RCA AGE YAW IN
266. RCA AGE WAY IN
267. RCA ANGIE YAW
268. RCA ANGIE WAY
269. RCA AWE GAY IN
270. RCA AWE AGY IN
271. RCA AYE WAG IN
272. RCA AYE AN WIG
273. RCA YEA WAG IN
274. RCA YEA AN WIG
275. RCA GAY AN WEI
276. RCA AGY AN WEI
277. CRAW AYE GAIN
278. CRAW AYE GINA
279. CRAW YEA GAIN
280. CRAW YEA GINA
281. RACY AWE GAIN
282. RACY AWE GINA
283. CAW AGE RAINY
284. CAW AGE RAY IN
285. CAW ANGIE RAY
286. CAW EGAN AIRY
287. CAW ERA GAY IN
288. CAW ERA AGY IN
289. CAW RAE GAY IN
290. CAW RAE AGY IN
291. CAW ARE GAY IN
292. CAW ARE AGY IN
293. CAW EAR GAY IN
294. CAW EAR AGY IN
295. CAW YEAR GAIN
296. CAW YEAR GINA
297. CAW AYE GRAIN
298. CAW AYE RAG IN
299. CAW AYE AN RIG
300. CAW YEA GRAIN
301. CAW YEA RAG IN
302. CAW YEA AN RIG
303. CAW RIGA AN YE
304. CAW NAG IRA YE
305. CAW NAG AIR YE
306. CAW GAY AN IRE
307. CAW AGY AN IRE
308. WAC AGE RAINY
309. WAC AGE RAY IN
310. WAC ANGIE RAY
311. WAC EGAN AIRY
312. WAC ERA GAY IN
313. WAC ERA AGY IN
314. WAC RAE GAY IN
315. WAC RAE AGY IN
316. WAC ARE GAY IN
317. WAC ARE AGY IN
318. WAC EAR GAY IN
319. WAC EAR AGY IN
320. WAC YEAR GAIN
321. WAC YEAR GINA
322. WAC AYE GRAIN
323. WAC AYE RAG IN
324. WAC AYE AN RIG
325. WAC YEA GRAIN
326. WAC YEA RAG IN
327. WAC YEA AN RIG
328. WAC RIGA AN YE
329. WAC NAG IRA YE
330. WAC NAG AIR YE
331. WAC GAY AN IRE
332. WAC AGY AN IRE
333. YWCA AGE NAIR
334. YWCA AGE IRAN
335. YWCA AGE RAIN
336. YWCA EGAN IRA
337. YWCA EGAN AIR
338. YWCA ERA GAIN
339. YWCA ERA GINA
340. YWCA RAE GAIN
341. YWCA RAE GINA
342. YWCA ARE GAIN
343. YWCA ARE GINA
344. YWCA EAR GAIN
345. YWCA EAR GINA
346. AGE AN WAR ICY
347. AGE AN RAW ICY
348. ERA WAG AN ICY
349. RAE WAG AN ICY
350. ARE WAG AN ICY
351. EAR WAG AN ICY
352. AWE RAG AN ICY
353. RAG AN YAW ICE
354. RAG AN WAY ICE
355. WAG AN RAY ICE
356. GAY AN WAR ICE
357. GAY AN RAW ICE
358. AGY AN WAR ICE
359. AGY AN RAW ICE

250 million and a chance at not being on meth

Well hello there sex and the sity, it's me again, the randall tuhchie. Now I know I got some "splanin" to do (I love lucinda reference), but bear in mind that I now have a new job and it's not every other day that I get to call in drunk. Speaking of work, I need to make a phone call. brb.

Ok, now that that's out of the way, I wanted to let you know what i have been up to as of late. Some of you catch my tweets on some AOL software called AOL, but for those that arent always catching the up to the minute randall updates on someone's lost iphone, I just wanted to catch you up. Nothing really, just texting from the potty when my manager lets me get a 6 minute break. Ok, now that we are up to speed, here is the randall world.

I was eating some american cheese that got burnt on the bottom of the oven when my GF chris told me that only retarded babies lay on the floor. I blewed her a kiss and she farted somewhat near my head. She told me to paint a picture cause it would last longer (foreplay). She is got the voice of a sexual husky and the heavenly wafting aroma of a healty digestive track chok full of cheddar melts. I tell you what sex in the sity, she is something dreams (the good ones without grandpa) are made of. Now I know what you are thinking and, well I have to say, please stop interupting my microphone to computer dictation software. I know, it seems like all I do is wash my underware in the sink and work all day, but to tell you the truth, I have been waiting to get back to you my sweeties. For I know that after a long hard day of spending most of the day hiding in the tube slide (legs get tired from bracing myself against the walls), you my sexy in the sity friends are the thing that helps me to vent.

Well after chris farted and the health inspector was done inspecting the "meat curtains" (dont get it cause there aint no windows) in the freezer with my bestest GF in randalls world, I had the task of scraping theold mice off the glue traps. No problemo though, I found a flat metal handled device near the stove. easy peasy chineasy, done and done.

Eventually, chris and the sweaty inspector came out and all way ok, we didnt get our license revoked. Which is good, cause I need this new job cause I am saving up to geet my dog turnip out of some dog jail called youthanized. I'M COMING FOR YA GIRL!

After intercourse(meal between meal around 10:00am), I decided to take an early lunch. Well sex in the sity, I decided to go get a bag of crunch and munch and a suicide fountain drink at the the local Texaco gas station (It's good to support local business). Well I was coming out of the turcker showers when this rude lady with no teeth and toilet paper hanging out her low cut 501's pushed her baby to the front of the line and was being pretty rude to the f*cking troll behind the counter. Now I know what you are thinking and no i did not steal a gallon of milk, but I just felt like i had to do something. I said "hey lady, look who has your baby". She screamed and threw a charlston chew at my head but it hit my leg and it only cost me 1D6 of damage to my zubazz exoskeleton. NICE TRY LADY! You know I just hate it when people make other people feel less than cuban. That's why i took the baby and ran. I ran so hard and so fast i thought my floppy bunny slippers were gunna catch on fire. I ran across the parking lot and threw the baby in the rear passanger window of a car that was driving away. "Touchdown!" I yelled and high fived a guy washing windows. The lady, faining tears, ran after the car down the street. I thought to my self, "randall, if you were a super hero, and not the kind that can transfer the contents of his bladder into evil villans, but the good kind, than fella, you are closer to being him than ever before.

At this point I pulled up my pants (around ankels) and went to pay for my, as Lynn Rosette O'Casper calls em, fucking homless people food. Mmmmm Mmmm, I couldnt wait to bust open my crunch and munch and take the bus home. But before that, i had to pay. I got back in line and there was another lady that was in front of me. It was so sad, sex in the sity. She was on meth drugs and she had an awful voice that sounded like 100 kittens being burried alive in the crawl space of your house (please remember to spay and nuter your pets). She was returning pop bottles for a few bucks. Instead of buying some food for her baby, or a gallon of half and half, she decided to do the smart thing and buy a lotto ticket. i mean, come on... this lady had her priorities in check. With powerball currently at 250 million, I wish I had a whole wheeled wire basket full of pop bottles so that I could get this lady another 2 dollar ticket/250 million dollar wish. Just so she could get off of meth drugs.

After I paid for my suicide and crunch and munch, borded the bus, and began mindlessly chatting with the pople in the handicapped seats, I thoughted to myself, what if... what if I had a chance to go for something bigger. I know, I stole a baby and threw it into a moving vehicle, but that's pocket changed when compared to wishing upon a star to get off of meth.

On the way home we passed a homeless man after homeless, carrying bags and bags of can. No, not just cans, but can-portunities... can-portunities to leave their tired ways behind and move closer to that setting sun the 9 bus to gresham city center was heading into.

Beautiful People have such hard times in life

Well well well, if it isnt me, randall tuhchie. GREETINGS AOL! I know, you all have been yearning for more randall, but life these days has been hard with my new job at Hardees, GET IT? HARD AT HARDEES? Oh dang, I knewed it made you laff.

Anyway, like I was saying I have been so busy cleaning up potty in the ball pit and rinsing out the rags in the some bucket labeled milkshakes(sp?), but the worst of all has been dealing with the some of the employees? Why is it that only beautiful ladies work at hardees? I mean, I walked in there te first day and I could hardly believe my one non-pink eye. It was like I had died an gone to heavens gate.

Now I know hat you think old randall is a lady charmer, but I have to disagree with that thought only because most women ugly or not whisper things to me like, "hey randall, some kid pooped in the urinal" or "Jesus Randall, use a rag in the urinal." When I try to talk back to them, they walk away or tell me to get out of the bushes and put my hands behind my head and lay on the ground (hard to get).

What's really weird about working at a place with some many beautiful women like hardees is that most of these people want to hang out with me Randall Tuhchie. Take, for instant, the hotty pictured above, Chris. What a looker. and you know what AOL? That lady and I did something that I only imagined my parents doing in the kitchen when I'm hiding in the pantry. She made randall into the man you see type before you. Now it's true that I had others before, but none that knewed a man's body so well. Now i know what your thinking and it's not just some wham bam thank you man thing kind of night... she really likes me too. Which is good cause with all these empty mcdonalds bags around the house, this place could really use a woman's touch. Now, being the gentleman I am, I dont kiss and tell without telling you from the beginning how I caught this sexual trout (slang for "hotty with a body").

Two days ago, I went in for my orientation, learning how to make what my manager calls the perfect "bacon ranch fries", when Chris, who was taking out the old fry grease 55 gallon barrel with one arm asked me if I could open the door for her. Well, before I could even say, "you are so sensual..." she kicked open the back door herself with a steel toed Doc Martin and said ever so sweetly, "you deaf you fucking retard?" I tell you what AOL, shakespear himself couldnt has written cliff notes better. My heart raced and I knewed that this troll face (slang for person who waits under bridges to steal someone's heart. i.e. homeless killer). "Well", I thought to myself, "heaven must be sad tonight cause this angel has certainly taken a rascall down the love elevator and into my heart". For the second I saw her, i knewed she would be mine.

My boss Skippy, some teenage punk who spends most of his time on his nokia blabbing about how he promises his GF that he will remove his work clothes before he gets into bed (as to not transfer the Au Jus smell onto the day bed), was fixing up a mean batch of chili for the chilie cheese burger. Well, he told Chris to "go watch over the new retard" (must be some handicapped to work program), and before I knewed it, Chris was helping me fill the ketchup bottles. Oh man, the way her veiney palms clutched the ketchup squeeze bottles made me thirst for a tall drink of chris. well, AOL, I knew I had only seconds to act, so I remembered what my dad said to me as a you boy and asked Chris on a date. I looked her straight in the eye and said, "how much for a BJ(Beautiful Jaunt, possibly through a park or bowling alley)"? Well, she looked at me, raised a half inch thick eyebrow and said, "meet me after work at your place".

My gosh, my heart raced, for one fleeting second as she turned her thick V-shaped upper torso around I felt a wash over me of complete bliss. It was only rudely interupted by Skippy asking my to go hydrate more onions for the six dollar thick burger. The world might be calling my my hands to work for a $7.40 and hour, but my mind, my body, and my soul were given up to Chris. Beautiful, Beautiful, Chris. She was like a burlap sack of Anacondas, writhing under her yellow and red smock. She had won over my Hardees Thick Burger (slang for heart), for sure.

I watched the clock in anticipation and as soon as 11:00pm, I threw down my tray of burgers to be tured into chilli for tomorrow and ran out the door. Skippy yeled something about being flyered, but i payed no attention to it as I grabbed my BMX bike and raced home.

I had no sooner lit some candels, flushed the toilet, and set up my playststion (resident evil), when the doorbell rang. It was Chris, and boy was she looking hot in her red and yellow smock and ranch french fry perfume.

"mmmm" I said, "I want to serve you on the dollar menu all week."

She giggled, "punch me in the shoulder" (ouch) and walked inside.

We sat on the carpet remnetns as I unpaused resident evil (know all the hidden object) when I went for the gold and tried to smooch her. She tenderly placed a hairy palm on my face and said the sweetest things I have ever heard a woman say to another human, "hey buddy, cash first". I know she makes more than me at Hardees, but I assume she just wanted some cash for gas, like any fine lady would. I opened up my hello kitty wallet and grabbed the six dollars and mountain dew "buy one get one free" cap I had won earlier in the week. Well, my act of kindness must have paid off because not more than 30 seconds after letting out a big sigh, she was showing me something she called her "9 inch clitortise". Well, this is the part, i will leave up to you AOL, but I must say, she really knew how to treat a man.

3 minutes later I didnt have a care in the world, for I knew that Chris (hotty) and my Peach mango snapple were all I needed at that moment.

Then it hit me, i knew I had to ask, "chris", I said, "why is all the beautiful people in the world have such a hard life". She giggled, punched my in the arm (broken) and said, "randall, you got a lot to lean about life".

She was right, i did have a lot to learn. After she drove her 4X4 with gun rack home, I thought to myself, "I do, I do have a lot to learn". I, randall tuhchie do have a lot to learn about life, women, work, and AOL friends. That's where you cme in. As I learn all about life, I am going to share it with love. For now i leave you with Chris' last words to me, "Randall, is that cat dead?"

Aol, i ask you... "is it"?

"thank you for getting to know me over this media" -randall tuhchie

Ask Randall (*Updated August 12th)

Hello my fellow AOLers,
It's me, you favorite Blogger Randall Tuhchie. You know what? Everday I open my AOL gmail and am amazed at the tens of questions I get everyday from people all over the ethercord. Well, I am here to tell you that I, randall harry tuhchie, am here to answer you're questions. All you have to do is simply submit your questions via AOL gmail to me randall (dot) tuhchie (at) gmail (dot) com and I will get to your questions as soon as I can.
I know what you are thinking, "Hey randall, nice sweater you fucking creep." Well let me tell you that I have had many years of experience of cort ordered therapy and other miscellaneous supervised counseling sessions. As a patient, I have learned all the tricks of the trade and I can weasel out of any situation. Please note that in all honestly there is nothing you can tell me that will weird me out, or make me call the cops under any circumstances. My only request is that you treat me this way too.
Lastly, I want to mention that it it also important to note that your submissions are completely disguised, you name given an acronym that describes your situation, and you name will not be revealed at anytime... unless it is something funny like you farted and burped at the same time (a golden apple) or fell asleep during Schindlers list. classic comedy. TOO MUCH HOOCH AND NATURES MIRACLE (full of natural enzymes), BEEN THERE DONE THAT!
So thank you in advance,

"thank you for getting to know me over this media" - ask randall tuhchie

Mary Roberston of 1672 NE Glammen St, Portland OR 97211 wrote:

"hey randy,

GUESS WHAT? YOU ARE A FUCKING INSANE CREEP AND IF YOU DONT STOP EMAILING AND CALLING ME, MY BOYFRIEND IS GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU"

Most Anxious Reply Yearns Repeatedly On Beating Ears, Randall, Thou Sexual O' Nightingale

M.A.R.Y.R.O.B.E.R.T.S.O.N.,

Let me first start by calming your actions of being thrust into rage. Do you often experience these notions of anger? Have you ever drawn a pee pee with the use of alpha numeric characters? 8=====D~~~ yes, I see.
What you are experiencing is something that we all go through. It's perfectly normal. While one might think of oneself as in between two worlds, the good you and the bad you, I like to tell people to think of themselves as the sort of garden of all different vegetables. You know? It's sort of fun to imagine. Over here we have a little rutabaga, over here we have a little Elvis Costello, and over here we have some baby clothes. You see what I mean?
Now I noticed in your question, you mentioned "my boyfriend". "My boyfriend". What does that phrase mean to you? Let me see if I can help illuminate on this subject. In your question you keep saying "my boyfriend" so much, it makes my my head start to stare at your beautiful, beautiful feet. Let's look at the relationship of just that sentence. Do you feel like there is some ownership here? Do you feel like you are the one in control of the relationship? How well do you Nicholas Hokly of 4338 NE 35th Ave, Portland OR http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=4338+NE+35th+Ave,+Portland,+OR&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=40.681389,67.763672&ie=UTF8&ll=45.554343,-122.628622&spn=0.008805,0.016544&t=h&z=16&iwloc=A&layer=c&cbll=45.554252,-122.628643&panoid=jQ3bu_20W-1l-Ezg7kV3zg&cbp=12,89.25,,0,7.57 Good enough to know that he's no good to you? Good enough to know that he flirst with other women at his place of work? Good enough to KNOW THAT THE F*CKING A**HOLE KEEPS PUSHING ME DOWN AND KEEPS SAYING TO ME THAT I WANT TO EAT HIS BUGGERS!!!! WELL, I DONT WANT TO AND I HATE YOU NICK! I HATE YOU! YOU AINT NO GOOD FOR MARY!

Does that help? Thanks so much. Oh no, I only accept payment before the counseling session.

Randall

"Hey Randall,

This is Jim from work. I know you just started here at Hardees, and I want to be square with you by saying that no one is accusing you of anything. However, upon leaving the employee break room yesterday, a fellow employee noticed that here were some very inappropriate web pages left on the employee computer. While it is ok to use the computer during employee break time, I want to remind you that we abide by an employee conduct code that forbids the viewing of this material on company time. Does that sound ok? I hope so. Thanks randall, see you tomorrow."

Cant Understand Managers Speak On Company Knowledge

Dear C.U.M.S.O.C.K.

What you bring up is no new topic to the world of manager/employee relations, infact many people find themselves in this situation everyday. Lets first start of by addressing your need to blame other for the things you obviously did. What kind of sick f*ck does this? As a professional counselor, I can honestly say you need to stop looking at horse porn at work. Does that help? I hope so.

Randall

"Randy,

did you pee in the icecube tray again? I hates it when you do that. You know I need to fill up my water bottle with ice cubes. I dont wanna never drink your pee again? OKAY?"

Person Eagerly Posts Personal Email, Randall

P.E.P.P.E.R.

My apologies for not getting to this email earlier. Would you like to come over to my house for dinner and watch "dating in the Dark"? All entrees will be gluten, dairy, egg, rice, sulfate, and glutamate free. After the meal there will be an honesty circle, followed by a healing dance (wear something light and flowing). Breakaway co-counseling sessions will start at seven.

This is a shoeless event,
Namaste.

(* Updated August 12th)

Randall.

You ever seent a man die?

Lady.troubles

Thank you for the AOL gmail lady.troubles,

I have never seen a man die, but I have made love to a "real" woman. I imagine it may be the same thing. Does that help? I hope it does.

thanks for the letter,

randall

Well folks, that is all for today, feel free to AOL gmail me and have your question posted on ask randall.

august 6th

Randall's Birthday Recap.

Hello America On Line, stop calling me you fucking pervert (learned that new greeting today). It's me again, Randall Tuhchie. Well, today is August 7th and that means that August 6th was Randall's 37th anniversary of being squeezed out my mom's(dead) v-word. Normally, I am content to sit on the floor and watch Mr. Magoo staring Leslie Neilson, but this last birthday was unlike any I had before.

It all started so fast. One second I was standing in my cutoffs and rollerblades on the corner of 185th and Prescott, eating a bologna and string cheese sandwich just minding my own business. Well the next thing I know a man in a snowmobile suit with a plastic bag over his head falls down in front of me. Being the good Samoan I am, I quickly picked him up and carried him to my bed. I said to him, "this is my chance world, I am going to nurse this man back to health." Well, when I went to go get my breast pump from the closet, low and behold, pepper jumped out and the man with the plastic bag over his head turned out to be friend acorn. I thought the inner thigh birthmark looked familiar. After acorn regained consiousness, pepper and him plus my kitty radish (in heat) sang happy birday then told me they were going to take me out for a night on the town (Lower east side of Gresham). And no america online, the suprises didnt stop there. Pepper had a bag she stole from forever 21 and inside it was a thong, some make up and some knee socks. "Well, well, well", I thoughted to myself, "I better put on my rockports, cause if I am going to be drinking sudafed and vodka slurpies all night, I need all the ankle support I can get."

Pepper decided to drive cause she has the highest tolerence and she has the only car with a babyseat. So it was Pepper and her baby up front, and the two of us in the back. In addition to her tolerence, pepper has a prostetic arm she stole from her kids father when he was drunk and puking in a urinal at the dirty duck. If she gets really intoxicated, she just wedges the arms between the steering wheel and the arm rest, and presto chango, she can drive in a straight line again. While it's good to know your limits America On line, it's best to have a back up plan.

Acorn was huffing gas in the car, so I dont remember much of that ride due to second hand huff, but we cracked the window for the baby. When we arrived I fell out of the car and somehow made it into some club called the ace. That place was a dump, holes in the walls everywhere. Eventually we decided to take off, but when pepper was in a room with some guys she met, I guess she lost her keys. No problem tough, she had a spare set in the glovebox. We just had to cokes the baby into crawling onto the power locks switch. Pepper smooshed a boob over the driverside window, and I told the baby some encouraging things like, "go get some milk you fucking retard". When she finally landed a doughnut and pepsi covered paw on the powerlocks, I threw the gas can out of the way and we were off.

We stopped off at the gas station for a refill and some more slurpie. Acorn went to use the bathroom and ended up wedging himself between the toilet and the stall wall so we put a sign on his passed out body and that said, "I aint staring, I just sleep with my eyes and mouth open. dont mind if you dont."

The second bar we went to was a highschool dance. Pepper and some kid we picked up at the gas station were getting sweaty in the back seat, so I headed in alone. I wasn't dancing for more than a few seconds before I realized everyone was in awe of my sexy, one man slow dance. Before lone the principle came up to me and very cutely asked me what the fuck in god's name I thought I was doing. Seeing that he was turned on by my moves, I threw my arms around him and we danced all the way to the front entrance. As he wapped his muscular arms around my neck and burried my face in his love handle, I couldt help but think things were moving too fast. Well AOL, like all good things they come to an end. He must have been drunk because he was daddy upset and punched me in the jaw. Aw, the good ones are always the ones that push you away into the street.

Feeling sore, my make up running, and my thong with fake penis now torn, we decided to call it a night. Pepper wedged the arm in place slammed on the gas, and once again we were off. What a night, like any other birthday before. I got to hang out with some good friends, masturbated in front of some kids, met a really nice man, and for once in a very long time I had a great birthday.

Before we headed home, we made one final stop at the gas station to get acorn, pull up his pants (must like to sleep with his butt exposed) and threw in in the car.

Back home, pepper and acorn spooned on the carpet remnants and whispered quietly about the amazing night they had. I, laying on my boxspring, eyes agaze at the stary night shinning through my kitchen window, thought of the loving man I met tonight, and slowly inhaled his wild musk (icy hot) still lingering on my forearms.

My eyes grewed heavy, stars faded to glistining streaks, and before long icy hot and I were together again, slow dancing to "Hello Beautiful", kissing with our mouths... in front of shadowy, giggling figures.

randall

Iceberg Lettuce (Michael Jackson and John Merrick)

Cabbage (bridget bardot)

Corn silk hair (Augra)

Artichoke (daddy)

Cayenne Pepper (if you love me, you will make love to me right here, right now)

Cabbage (toothy girl)

Cabbage 2 (electric boogaloo)

Elephant Foot Yam (enjoys car talk)

Kohlrabi face (viagra breath)

Lebanese Cucumber (prefers snorks over smurfs)

Hubbard Squash (thinking about pie)

New Zealand Spinach (corn tooth)

Seakale Hair (Luggage Face)

Asparagus fingers (crypt keeper stand in)

Vidalia Sweet Onion (yeast infection)

Spring Onions (new boobs, same necklace. WTF girlfiend?)

Tatsoi (Kirk Cameron farted)

pumkin tumor (pumkin tumor)

Mange Tout (Lights farts on sundays)

Olive nipples (enjoys rollerblading)

Tomatillo (bologna eyelids)

Mizuna greens (still doesnt own iphone)

Lagos Bologi (wheat grass enema at night)

Lizard's tail (bread loaf sized potty)

Velvet bean (fat elvis)

Japanese Bunching Onions (cant swim)

Parenting tips from a guy who knows kids.

Hello AOL,

In this day in age, I see so many kids walking up and down the street past my house and I think to myself, dang, who is these kids parents? Now I know what you are thinking my fellow best friends, "but randall, does a guy like you even have children?" Well, to be honest, no, unless something happened as a result of the seamen flinging incident. HOWEVER UNTILL ANY PATERNITY TEST COMES IN I DONT HAVE NO KID. This is certainly not to say that one day I dont want to have possesion of some shildren of my own. What man does not want to snuggle on a flowery bedspread thrown over a boxspring with a kid and have him and her give you kisses on the lips? ANSWER ME THAT AOL!

Coming from a great family in which my mom and dad are still together after my mom croaked, I have learned a few things about managing kids the hard and fun way. What I hope will come of this is that you see that I can be a good dad and you will let me babysit your kids when you go on your fancy pants vacation to some mexican resort. I have references. In addition to, if I can pass on what I have learned as a youngin to even expecting parents (please go away) I will finally feel like I have made up for the boise incident.

So, without further ado, I present you you, "Parenting tips from a guy who knows kids"

1. It's often usefull to reinforce positive behavior with treats like ice cream and a towel in front of the house, and to break negative behaviors by using the age old addage, "you gunna cry like a girl? you gunna dress like a girl!"

2. Kids can be messy eaters. Lord knows I was. Dont get upset here and loose your temper. Throw the fucking food on the floor and scream "EAT IT YOU PIG, EAT IT"!

3. Kids can understand a lot from not only what we say, but what you do. So if you are doing something inappropriate in front of the television late at night, put a blanket over you lap and tell them you have a very excited bunny in your shorts. When they ask where the bunny is the following morning, tell them it died cause you little shits kept it up all night.

4. If both parents decide it's okay to get a couple of male prostitues (makes marriage stronger), put a childrens video on the tv like the wiggles, blues clues, or vagaina monalogs, really loud and tell them not to call the cops again if mommy starts to scream.

5. Dinner time is a very important meal in which most information about childrens lives are expressed in a group setting. This is incredibly important and can help parents to truley stay connected with their childrens lives. Tell them to shut the fuck up cause daddy cant hear what the arby's lady is reading back to him.

I know, short and sweet, but hey, I believe these five tips helped me to become the man you see before you. So thanks mom(dead) and dad for helping me to become a great dad, and a great blogger!

"thank you for getting to know me over this media" -randall tuhchie

Few things for sale

Well it's me again, your freind Randall.

It has come to my attention that I have to sell a few things that have been building up inside my house. It's funny how fast people collect things you know? Been here only a few months now and the amount of things I have collected has made it impossible for me or my kitties to move around in. Last week, I knew I had a problem when I accidentally sat on the toilet that wasnt hooked up. Not a problem though, Just put some newspaper over it can called it done. It's not to say that I havent tried to clean it before. I called merry maids and the lady who came over introduced herself as Dios Mio. Very lovely traditional mexican name. She was a very nice lady, but she had a horrible work ethic and kept trying to go for the door. I said to her, "Hold up Dios Mio, you havent even touched the potty yet". I think her friend Ayuda showed up cause she hit me with in the head with a plunger and kept scraming for Ayuda (must be deaf) before she hopped out the bathroom window. Well, it's a good thing I didnt pay her cause she only contributed to the mess by leaving all of her cleaning stuff and purse here. So, if you are reading his Dios Mio, please come get your cleaning stuff. Also, dont bother getting your tampons cause i was testing to see how much fruit punch they would absorb out of my juice box. Please by another brand as these things clearly dont hold much ecto-cooler.

Oh yeah AOL, almost forgot. here is a list of things for sale.

One Stove(slightly used). It currently has a spatula melted to the burner, but the spatula does tranfsfer heat quite nicely. Put burger on it and the fat naturally drains off the sloped surface onto the floor.

One bicycle, if I can get around to finding it. Has new wheels, currently missing in house.

One cat, name is radish. Nice cat, does not like to be looked at. Perfect for toddlers or other people with little hands.

Every New York times newspaper from 1955 to present.

cheeseburger

1 high powered vaccume. Currently does not work due to dust buster crammed in hose.

Salad bar from wendys. Took it when they were remodeling, will throw in sterno for extra charge. You haul, will not send through mail, man in kenya. STOP EMAILIN ME YOU FU**ING IDIOT. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH POSTAGE IS?

1 toaster. only works if you place bread in it, and place toaster in 350 degree oven.

4 left shoes. Buy for your one legged friends.

plus a whole lot more, most of which is infested with something called termites(sp?).

That is all for now. email me if you are interested in any of the listed.

"thank you for getting to know me over this media" -randall tuhchie

Lets get healthy peple

Well, it's meagain, randall.

Since the cort ordered my dog turnip be taken away because of her obesity problem, and that the judge said I have to undergo a serious mental evaluation that includes both health and physical fitness counseling, I have decided to share a few things that I have taught mysel from not taking notes in the class. But before i do, please allow me to rant a little bit cause I think it is unfair not to feed a dog bryers double churn. I mean come on, if the dog didnt want it, it would just go drink out of his water dish, which is filled with mountain dew halo edition. I know i am a bad owner, I ran out of red bull and code red last week. Why does the animal cort feel it is necessary to come out to my property and take away the things that make me and turnip happy. Oh well, I guess I can always turn turnips dog bed into a guest bed.

So on with the show, right AOL?

Aside from the boners I drew in my Lisa Frank note book, here are some things i jotted down in order to make that EFFING B*TCH shut her fat face so I could get my certificate of completed course.

1. Milk should be stored in the fridge, and not in back of toilet.

2. Ignore, picture of boner

3. make at least one meal a day not include pizza

4. vegetables are for gays

5. Dog food is not fit for human or baby consumption, people food should not be given to dogs.

6. it is not okay to milk a dog

7. Only puppies should drink dog milk.

B. (eight key is broken) The guy next to me smells like salami.

9. He does not like to be called Sal Lami

10. free feeding for dogs can often lead to obesity. Rightly so, slicing a bag of kibbles and bits, kicking it over and saying "here boy" is unsanitary and cruel.

Well AOL, I am so glad to be able to pass the mind torche over to you my good friends. I have to sign off now as my niece pepper wants to use the phone to call her boyfriend and I also have to go "wash" some "dishes" in preperation for tomorrows "dinner" of beeferoni and snickers.

"thank you for getting to know me over this media" -randall tuhchie

wake up world, randall is the new sherrif on this blog town site

Hello,

my nam is randall tuhchie. I have been meaning to start a blog now for a while ever since my niece pepper showed me how to sign on to AOL. Once I figured out how to distract the cops when they were searching my hard-drive (only sign on to neighbors computer when away at work), I had my first taste of getting to know people. Now instead of only being asked "what smells like cheese?" or "sir, will you please put that away?" peope from all over AOL want to get to know me because they they want get to know a fellow "blogger" who is a nice guy. So that's me randall tuhchie.

My hope from this blog is to eventually get one of those adds that pops up and asks you if you want a masters degree for a nominal fee so I can help pay for my stray cat collection. Other than that, it would be nice to meet some ladies. I had to pick up everything from the last town i moved from (undisclosed location) and now I live here in Portland, Oregon (pronounced ORGAN). Anyway, I get lonely from time to time and meeting a nice girl with a funny sense of humor and "real"money in the bank would be nice. I am a really sweet and sensitive man who has something call chronic hally-toe-sis (Doctor speak for some medicine call a tic-tacs) 1.79 FOR MY PILLS IS A RIP! SICKOS! Like I said, I am a very sweet and understanding man. PLEASE NO FATTIES OR UGGO FACES. thank you very much.

Other than that, please enjoy my blog.

"Thank you for getting to know me over this media" -randall tuhchie