Yoda, Dog Penis, Goodbye Yellow Brick Scrote

Hello again AOL,

I knowed, I knowed. It's been too long my sexy in the sity AOL friends. Sometimes, i think, I should really get back to writing my blog, and other times i think, "... just one more informercial, maybe this next one wont be british." But he makes a good point! I am lazy, you are lazy, we dont like doing the dishes and I hate cleaning up bacon grease.

I knowed, I knowed, you can make all the excuses in the world, but when it comes down to it, you either got it or you dont. Sometimes after a long day of laying at the bottom of the ball pit at the Macky D's (slang for sh!t burger) play palace, breathing out of six bendy straws bent every witch way, and not have a little kiddo step on you in the right place, a feller can get pretty exhausted. I mean you knowed how it is. NOT ONE KIDDO!

Well, sometimes when I think about how long "work" is, and how low I get to feeling, i think of YOU. You are the reason I keep going. When I lay at the bottom of that ball pit, covered red, green, blue, and orange balls, mixed with half eaten cheese burgers and diarrhea, my mind wizzos away to a far away play palace. One where unicorns have human babies and human babies get married to presidents of foreign neighborhoods watch associations. A place where a kid can just be a kid and kiss ANY PERSON, not limited to a "LEGAL AGE". I mean, think about it. For instance, I was always pretty good at maff class back in height-school. So now I am going to lay some linear algebra equations on you. If you think about how old babies are, and how close to not living they were before they was infected with the stuff found in tube socks back in the uberus, and you look how close to death old scrotum faces who buy adult diapers cause they dont like going potty in the toilet or bed LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, then you know that they is pretty much the same thing? AND if no one like to kiss old people and retards except the people in movies, then it just makes sense that there shouldn't be a legal age to kiss babies that ARENT YOURS! NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU RUN TO GET AWAY FROM THE PARENTS THAT ARE CHASING YOU CAUSE YOU ARE CARRYING THEIR BABY. and you shouldnt be arrested by the police for what I like to call "run kissing" with a baby neither. I mean COME ON AMERICA, Do the maff!

You know all this talk about dog penis reminds me of my Uncle Scrote. We called him uncle scrote cause he had the most funniest party trick ever. When we was kids he would lay on the bed, pull down his pants, stretch his scrotum over his belly button, and tell us he was pushing out a old baldy baby! We laffed and laffed! Eventually we got kicked out of mattress world. He was a good uncle, the kind where you could lend him a dollar and the next day he's let you smoke his butts if you didnt tell his wife he stayed home from work. She danced at a club called tubby's. She would always come home, find out that Uncle scrote didnt work, yell at him, and go up to her room to do her kagels. "Screw ping pong balls, one day I will shoot a bowling ball across the room", she would say. What a lady!

I bring up uncle scrote partly because of dog penis, partly because it was through him that I learned how "my precious" life really is and the true meaning of "doesnt every boy who finishes his dinner get desert?". Well, last week we found a note that said he was going to off himself Boner stabone style. Well, the police, or as pepper like to call them, "shit hide the drugs in my ass", called and said they found Uncle Scrote. He was in jail for exposing him self to mynors and using PCP. We'll pepper said, enuf is enuf, Uncle scrote is dead to us.

But I tol her, "WAIT A MINUTE, THE POLICE SAID HE WAS ALIVE, NOW YOU SAY HE'S DEAD?"

Pepper laffed, "no you fuck face retard, he is dead TO US." So there you go, i guess he died after all. This is probably another case of police brusetality.

I'll never forget him. He wased a good man. This reminds me of something someone once said. "Ok randall, now you try and stretch your scrotum over your belly button. Wait while I get my camera." That, and the words of the great prophet, yoda. Who once said, "if you really love something, let it go, and if it comes back... something ...something, dog penis." I think about that and it makes me laff. WHY WOULD A SCROTUM HEAD SAY THAT? Now that is funny! Too bad he wasnt liked as the character french stewart in the hilarious drama, "third rock from the sun".

Uncle Scrote, you will be misseded,






"thank you fo getting to know me over this media" -randall tuhchie