Another Day Another Doll Hair (Target) and Family Matters

Well Well Well, AOL. I just punched out of my new job and christ almighty, what a f*cking day. It's not to say that working in the diaper section of target is bad, but it's that ever since chris and I broke up. I have had such an awkward time meeting women. You know that thing where you date an ugly girl for a day and then break up with her so you can get with a real woman with two boobs? Well, after breaking up with chris for her cheating on me with some guy she kept crying about called Genral Herbies, I thought the women would come crawling up randalls pole(slang for a polish man). I COULDNT BE MORE WRONG SEX IN THE SITY! Dont get me wrong, Target has great women just ripe for the old spatula and bean dip(trying to learn how to talk dirty), but for the most part, women just say to me "Hey Randall, some kid pooped under a mossimo shirt rack," or "Hey you fucking asshole, this is a womens bathroom"(Apparently, slang for potty). Well, I tell you what sex in the sity, when it comes to women, I am like a sexual camelback.

Why is women so hard to understand?

Just the other day I was stocking extra large pampers with shit guard for the fat f*ck babies when carla from home decor came up to me. I mean, she is a nice african american women, but I dont really have a thing for women over the 350 dollar mark. She is always saying things like, "Hey Randall" and "Randall, you are so funny" and punches me in the arm, but I always tell her, "carla, I aint tell no joke!" She justs laffs anyway and punches me in the arms, and I inevitably knock over a stack of huggies. DANG IT CARLA, I DONT LIKE YOU. But she dont care, she justs laffs away at everything I do. Last week, I asked if anyone was going to eat the mustard packets in the fridge and she just started laffing away, "randall, you is too cute" and "randall, I would make a man outa you any day". Oh well, wen old randall does decide to bound and gag (very into something called S&M&M's) the future miss tuhchie, I will make a real woman out of the F*CKING CHEATING SLUT, and give her a good home with stolen cable and a real pull out couch on which we can conceive(still learning) not borrowed children we can call ours. Oh well, until then, it's like the old saying , "another day, another doll hair".

Aside from the grueling schedule of 24 hours a week, not all has been bad. Today papper came to see me at my job. I realized how much this woman meant to me when we were returning a couple of Xbox 360s I helped her cram in her sweatpants the night before. She grabbed the cash, stuck it in her bra and said, "wow randall, look at you, all growed up". I was blowed away. A tear jerked out of my eye hole and ran down my face. I lied and told her I was alergic to toilet duck. She laffed and said, "it's ok randall, I know how much family means to you, now lets get going, I have to remember what isle I stashed the baby in." Wow AOL, until then, I just though of family as something that you bailed out of jail, or just people you sold cars to that broke in half when they drive away, but at that moment, when pepper was deciding whether or not to buy some glittery scrunchies at the one spot, I knewed that family was more than that. Family is someone who is there for you, through thick(chris) and thin(drunken night with pepper), through the good times(target) and the bad times(hardees). Family is thicker than blood stains, family is a way of life.

I know AOL, this one was short, but I am a little too choked up.

"thank you for getting to know me over this media" -randall tuhchie